A total change of direction
When I started this blog, I did not expect to write about the things that I did. However, the expenses scandal kicked off around the same time, I have an interest in politics, so that’s the way things went.
This last week though I have had a health scare. Still do, NHS = waiting. If I had the money, Bupa would have found out by now whether I have a problem or not. A lack of money in Britain means you are a 2nd class person, even when your health is on the line.
I want to write something about the deaths of Neil Puttick, his wife Kazumi and their child Sam.
Beachy Head has had a place in my life since my brother ended his life there in 1993. Whenever I see the place on the news, time stands still for just a moment. The pain and despair people must feel in there lives to commit suicide in such a violent way is beyond imagination.
Some people say that those who choose suicide are selfish and cowards. I could not disagree more. When I think of the pain and disruption my brothers death caused , I admit, sometimes I too think he was selfish. Imagine though the inner turmoil he felt, how sad, lonely and depressed he must have felt, that he thought ending his life was the answer to his problems. As for cowards, I have stood atop Beachy Head. I can not imagine having the inner strength, the guts, the bravery to step off the edge. My brother was not a coward, he was not selfish. He was desperate.
My son also died, as did poor Sam. For Neil and Kazumi, I feel pain at the death of their son. However kind and compassionate people are, no one can ever understand the pain and grief losing a child causes. It’s different for every family, so the pain is unique. It is 6 years since my son died and I think of him every day. As I do my brother.
When I think of that last Saturday and Sunday Neil and Kazumi lived, after the death of Sam, I cry thinking of what pain they must have been suffering. It must have been horrific. I hope there is an afterlife, where the family have been united and they are happy together, all pain gone. RIP Neil, Kazumi and Sam.
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